All my life I have always cared about what people thought, how I was perceived, if they liked me, if they thought I was cool, pretty, relatable, fit, funny ... the list goes on.
Wondering why I'm writing this?
Stick with me, we'll get there!
I'm on holiday in the UAE, thinking through my last few hours outside Nigeria, before I go back to work, and I thought to write this.
Let me trail how I got here.
Being healthy to me, growing up, was always physical. Have pains? Take a painkiller. Have an infection? Take antibiotics.
But I never thought of the non-physical i.e. the mental.
What happens when you worry? What happens when you have heightened anxiety?
Growing up, I'd just take a quick nap and wake up feeling better. As I got older, I'd ignore the issue. But now I'm at a certain place in my life, where I can no longer ignore these things or sleep them away. I now have to face them, come to terms with them or deal with them.
Sounds simple yeah?
Well it's not, if these issues are big deals, life-changing or bigger if they're life-altering.
So fast-forward to a few weeks ago when a friend gave me this book called "The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k". It's written by the brilliant Sarah Wright. I know it sounds like the popular book, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson, but it's a bit different.
I read the book, from cover to cover, in about a week and even before I finished the book, I decided to mentally declutter. What does this mean?
Well Sarah says, it's the art of weighing the things you care about, think about or worry about. The things that take up any space in your mind and determine, if they're worth it or not. So you keep what is worth it and throw away what isn't. Makes sense right?
Well it does, until you actually sit down to make the list and try to determine which is and which isn't. Then you realise you've been carrying quite the weight. Some of which have been for years, and others? a few weeks, days, hours, minutes and even seconds.
It was in that moment, I saw how I was weighing myself down mentally and how I had to free myself from some of these things. It was in that moment Pookie knew, she had to stop giving a fuck.
Not only was it stressful and strenuous but it was eating into valuable time I could have been using on something else.
Then came the hard part. Sarah mentioned in the book, how you have to learn to say no to things and people for your own sanity and peace of mind.
If something is not in line with what I want, like or think, say NO. Take a stand. And that individual will learn, over time, not to bring it to you again.
The lessons from the book, go on and on.
But why am I saying all this?
You have to protect your sanity and your time.
Time is a big deal. It's one of the only things you can't play around with, because you can't get it back when you lose it. So why use it up on irrelevant things?
Why waste it?
If you don't care about something, or if it doesn't align with your beliefs, dreams or where you presently are, like Sarah says, "Why give a fuck?" Why bother?
Why subject yourself to an annoying punishment that you're going to have to later mentally rid yourself of?
Life's too short to knowingly put yourself in mentally and psychologically unhealthy situations.
So today, take a deep breath, sit in your favourite corner, sipping on your fav (mine's wine atm), and make a list. Mentally declutter. Keep the things you love and play them up.
It'll go a long way, in aiding your mental health.
One more thing though.
I'm not saying you should get rid of things because they're hard. I'm saying, put on your big girl (or boy) pants and deal with those things in the most mature and morally upright way, for the desired results.
If you don't even need the thing or situation and it's more of a burden, then by all means, throw it in the fuck-bin.
There's no need worrying about it.
Like I said earlier protect your mental health.
I should, one day, write more on this.
But for now, take notes, mentally declutter and learn to say NO to the unnecessary! It helps!
Peace and Love!!
-Pookie!!
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